I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Randomize
