when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
