My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
