It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
We have started to decorate penises.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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