Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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