And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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