dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Randomize
