isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
