I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
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So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
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On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
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