If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Floor bacon is actually really good
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize