I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
