I can tuck mytits in my pants
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
