wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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