idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize