Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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