I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
