dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
