You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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