Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
