it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
