the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
