Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
