And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Randomize
