I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
