Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
