When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
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