we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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