DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
