nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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