I love black thongs
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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