just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
