the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
