you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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