clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
