**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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