Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
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she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
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Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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