you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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