My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
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