how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
