i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
i think my cat just said my name.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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