remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize