dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
