i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
