Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
