I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
