I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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