talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
