How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
