shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Randomize
