I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
