Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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