So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
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