she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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