Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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