Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
