I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
