Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Randomize
