if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
