Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
