i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I'm gonna fight the coyote
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize